Squire’s Loft – Essendon


I get asked a lot if I’m a ‘burger guy’ or a ‘steak guy’ which I find a little bit silly.

How can you compare a burger; a layered, handheld staple beloved by all to a perfect piece of grilled Bovine that are banned by certain Religions? It’s an absurd comparison that I cannot fathom since I love both unconditionally. If anything, I’m neither a ‘burger’ nor a ‘steak’ guy but more of a, ‘What do you have? I’ll eat it all’ guy.

When I’m not busy expanding my waistline with double pattied burgers or battling an impending food coma, your boy is busy finding a great piece of steak. It used to be simple. We were blessed with The Station Hotel, who knew a few a things about a great steak and did a wonderful job catering to us for years. We took you for granted old Station Hotel!

However, things change and so did Station Hotel’s owner’s along with their quality. Gone were the entire menu devoted to detailing if your cow grew up on a diet of grains or grass, their home, children, family talents, genetic disease etc. So this only meant one thing.

We need a replacement and we need it now! Good enough excuse to go steaking around Melbourne. Don’t get me wrong, I’m only doing this for you guys. And science. #selfless


Everyone knows this is a trap. A sweet, hot, fresh, delicious, buttery trap.
Going for an abstract focus piece here. I wanted to emphasize the natural curves of the fried potato.
Northern River Rib Eye 700g – $71
Rib eye on the bone 400g (w/ chips and mushroom sauce) – $45
Scotch Fillet 350g (w/ grilled vegetables) – $39
Black Angus Porterhouse 400g (w/ chips and mushroom sauce) – $46
I’ll give you a moment because I need a second or two.

I think most people know or have at least heard of Squire’s Lofts name. For those who aren’t in the know, Squire’s Loft spreads across most of Melbourne and have stores Australia-wide. They specialise in steak and if you’re craving a steak.. chances are you won’t be disappointed, leaving well satisfied.

We also had a side of salad but I forgot to take a picture! A lot of people will be upset, I’m sure.

The awesome:

  • Steak is King at Squire’s Loft and they dish an impressive steak game. They score a very high mark especially with the cuts with the bone in. I chose the Black Angus Porterhouse and was filled with food envy once I had a taste of the other steaks around the table. Medium rare is certainly not a challenge for the team manning the grills at Squire’s Loft. All steaks were delivered perfectly cooked and rested (no crazy juice leakage!). Each bite was tantalising tender with juices and fat rendering from bite after bite. It was a pleasure to eat and sadness swallowed me once I ran out of steak.
  • Chips were good! If you’re not getting mushroom sauce to dip, you’re playing yourself.
  • Servers are knowledgeable and made our time much more enjoyable with their recommendations and attentiveness. Anyone who laughs at my dad jokes are the best kind of people.

I loved Squire’s Loft and our experience were as good as you can get for a first time visit. The steaks were delicious but I can’t wait to search out the other steaks around Melbourne!

4 moustaches out of 5!

 Squires Loft Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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